Navigating the Grocery Store

I went for my first big grocery shopping today.  It's a challenge to stock a kitchen from ground zero - especially when you're not exactly sure what you need (I should get one of those kitchen pantry books that my friend Matt told me about) and you also aren't sure what you're buying.  Luckily I'm not completely new to the world of foreign grocery stores. In fact, I really enjoy wandering up and down the aisles to see what is given prime real estate on the shelves. Lots of things are the same, but when they're different, it really can throw you for a loop.

I set out for the Carrefour in a nearby mall early this morning.  I've been there once before (that time I hauled a microwave on the metro) and was looking forward to just roaming and purchasing things I couldn't get at my two local (much smaller) groceries.

It all starts with the cart.

I was prepared for the cart process from my time in Hungary.  In order to get a cart - as opposed to a basket - you need to insert a coin to release the chain from the cart in front of it.  Your cart comes loose and off you go.  I was not - however - prepared for the fact that there were three bum carts at the end of the row.  I was juggling carts like a crazy lady - insert coin, connect to different row of carts, release coin, insert coin in new cart - and security was watching it with (not so secret) glee.  

Off I went into the Walmart like aisles of the large supermarket!!  Bread was first, and I was definitely tempted as I rolled though the pastry section, and I even stopped to look at a couple before deciding I didn't need any of them.  I did not pass up the opportunity to look even crazier than the cart shuffler I was just a few minutes before, and I used my Google Translate app the whole way through the bread department.  I wanted to know what was in all the pastries and all the various bread loafs they had.  

If you ever travel to, or live in, a country where the language is not your first Google Translate is a life saver.  You choose the language the words are in, and select what language you'd like to translate it into - and either hover your smartphone camera over the foreign language, or input the words using the keyboard.  It's nothing short of amazing.  

Here is what a label in Polish looks like to the naked eye. 

Here's the translated label using Google Translate.  Voila. 

While not a fool proof plan, it certainly helps distinguish signs, documents, labels - the works.  It's really helpful, but does nothing to advance my practice of trying to blend in like a normal person.  I walk around with my phone wandering from product to product as if there is a rare Pokemon Go hiding inside a box of pasta.  

On to the produce section.  Generally I'm okay with produce.  I can identify lots of the products, and I'm aware of the whole weigh your own make sure you get the sticker practice.  I was NOT prepared however, for the guy who pulled out a machete to cut his own sliced watermelon.  Really?  I put in hours at Byerly's cutting melon, wrapping it and making sure it was prepared in a way that would exceed customer expectations.  This guy was in it to win it.  Knife, slice, wrap, done.  

Note that his small child's fingers are right in there helping dear old dad out.  

If you aren't familiar with the weigh your own produce, it's fairly easy - no machete necessary - and it's less work for the cashiers at the front end.  The only mystery is making sure that you press the right button for the fruit or vegetable you have in hand.  I spent a good five minutes, traversing to three different machines, trying to find the code for limes before I realized the price was for each lime, not by kilogram.  Always a learning curve...... 

I'm not sure what you do with an entire sunflower head, but you can get one at the store if you want.  Maybe my dad should bring his to Cub and see if they can use them!

At the very end of the produce section was something I hadn't seen before - and it was fascinating. I'm not sure how one tends to it, or who is in charge of making sure they are good and not over saturated (if that's even a thing).  They had right smack dab in the produce aisle - bulk pickles.  

While I didn't partake in them this time, I'm sure I'll try them sometime in the future (after a few minutes spent watching exactly where one puts bulk pickles.  Do you wrap them in a bag and weigh them?  Is there a jar?  What do they even taste like?) after I've made baby steps in the rest of my life in Poland.  

The other interesting thing I had to contend with today, and at IKEA yesterday, was the new class of men I call "MOFO's without licenses." They drive without abandon and give zero fucks that there are people in the aisle, product in the aisle, poles in the aisle.  It doesn't matter.  They'll keep going without pause, and do it at a speed that rivals only that of MY driving record.  If you encounter one of these men, get out of the way, do it quickly, and keep lookout for when they'll come around again.  I personally think there's an internal bet to see how many people they could take out before someone complains to management. 

MOFO Without License - in action 

And he's off!  All that is left are two trails of soapy water...... 

Moving into the dairy section.  I was in search of Greek yogurt - not hard to find - but specifically plain Greek yogurt.  As I was scouring the aisle that was chock full of yogurts - joghurt in Polish - I came across this:

I like yogurt, and I try to get protein into every meal.  What would happen if I were to consume this yogurt?  In an age where we're trying to move toward equity in so many different facets of public life, we're really producing yogurt that is for men?  Side note: they're larger containers than the other ones, because you know, men need to eat more than women. 

On to the spices.  I put together a list of basic spices I'd need on a list- with the Polish translation next to it - prior to leaving my apartment.  Luckily, there are pictures on the front of the envelopes that spices come in here.  They're a lot like they are in Hungary - no container, just an envelope.  Kind of annoying when you're trying to organize your pantry, but it's what we have none the less.  

A spoonful of zioła makes the medicine go down?

As I continued to wander the aisles, I was pretty good at not filling my cart with things I didn't need. I was enjoying perusing the different things that Poles flock to in each aisle, and I of course was people watching the entire way as well.  I did perk up even more when I came to the ethnic foods aisle. Someone at school mentioned they were looking for siracha- they had it.  Tortillas?  They have it. Soy sauce, Japanese ramen, chili sauce, french jams and jellies?  They've got it.  Several regions of the world were represented boasting foods that natives would desire while living in Warsaw.  Until I got to the part of the aisle labeled "America."  ppppppfffffffftttttttttttt. ugh. 

Candy, flavor syrups, something called fluff, and more candy.

Jif is now "new" in Poland.  #Murica

I checked out and got home without incident, but thrilled that I can return and get Jif anytime I need. Oh Poland.